I said goodbye. It was the absolute right choice. And, I have a lot of anger confused by the ache of missing us. I miss the random texts and pokes, even though I realise, now, they were just maintenance and not really heartfelt. I had found myself counting on them.
It could have been wonder-full.
I really hate my heart.
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Don't hate your heart. It was just being itself: a huge beautiful generous and sharing entity thriving without the bounds of logic.
ReplyDeleteThat being siad, you can't explain the grieving and dissapointment away. You've just got to feel it all and know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, even when you don't feel that there is.
Logically you know you made the right choice. Its just going to take your heart some time to catch up.
I actually have alot of thoughts on this kind of stuff when its less emotionally raw and you want to talk.
Hey you. Leaving a post on your blog doesn't really begin to cut it.
ReplyDeleteBut, I do want to say that I echo what Laura says up there. You can't hate your heart or who you are. That you allow yourself to be vulnerable, that you can trust other people is absolutely a good thing.
However, I also understand that it's not helping you right now.
I love you much. Please let me know when I can come over again with another bottle of wine.
You are welcome ANY time!!! With, or without wine. In fact, I'll be getting a spare key back, soon. You can have it.
ReplyDeleteAnd, thank you. I do still feel like a complete idiot, but thank you.
I think we all feel like idiots when these sorts of things come to an end. But we're not.
ReplyDeletePeople who treat our hearts carelessly, on the other hand, I have fewer kind words for.